Sample Article #3: Approaching Women – 2 Guidelines That Will Make Her Thank You For Talking To Her!

“Why did this guy approach me?”

That is the very first thing a woman asks herself when you approach her. If she cannot come up with a good reason why you are right there talking to her, that will make her feel awkward and uncomfortable.

Bottom line: she will hold herself back from engaging and will even find a way to exit out of the situation.

Trust me, women are good at ejecting out of conversations.
The first key to approaching women successfully is this: Let her know your reason for approaching her!

Take a look at the following examples:

At The Bookstore:You: "You look like someone who loves to read. I'm dying to grab a good read. What book do you recommend?"

At The Art Gallery:(While she studies a black dot on a white canvass.)
You: "What’s your interpretation?"

These approaches will make her feel comfortable because she will understand why you are talking to her. You have given her a good reason.

Now, let’s say you got her attention. She’s looking to you as you speak and ready to give an answer. What should you do?

The second key is this: Be GENUINELY interested in what you are talking about.

Yes, you got her to open up, but if you are not truly interested in what you are talking about, it will show. Women will see this as a ‘forcing conversation’ – one that creates weird and bad vibes. It’s not natural and, worse, it gets her guard up. She becomes suspicious of your motivations for approaching.

Moving back to the Art Gallery example:

You: "... What do you think?"

Her: "I’m not sure. Why not just read the plaque?"

You: "Yeah, I’ll have a look at it. So what's your name?"

Her: "Why are you asking for my name?"

See? The problem is that the woman you’re approaching has decided that you’re just using an opening line to break down her guard and engage her in a conversation. It will make you look deceptive.

Here’s how you can do better:

You: "... What do you think?"

Her: "I’m not sure. Why not just read the plaque?"

You: "I can read it, BUT I have my own interpretations. For me, the dot represents how small the humankind is and the vastness around the dot is the love of god. But there’s another thing to notice: we are off center a little bit. And I think that means we are a little out line, we’re lost."

Her: "Cool, I was first thinking it was a fly in the middle of potato soup."

You: "(Laugh) So far, what's your favorite work?"

Her: "I really like the one that looks a lot like a movie storyboard."

You: "Hmmm, that’s a good one, too. I love how the artist hints at possibility with the chalk."

Her: "Yeah, he does, doesn't he?"

You: "I’m really glad I found someone who can appreciate such stuff like me. What's your name?"

Her: (smiling) "Catelyn. What's yours?"

You talked about your own interpretations of the paintings in the wall long enough to show you are genuinely interested in it. This 'full development' of your opening makes her feel comfortable with your reason for engaging her.

And you won’t be able to do that if you’re not genuinely interested in what you are talking about!

So the next time you hit the bookstore, coffee shop, or art gallery, remember these two things: (1) Let her know your reasons for approaching. (2) Be GENUINELY interested in what you are talking about.